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| PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR TROOPS!!!
This is my friend Kenny Laycock. He is 20 years old and is going to Iraq in less than a month for 16 months. He came up to visit me this passed week. Please be praying for him along with every other American who is making sacrifices like this for us.
I love you Kenny!
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| Hello my fellow Xanga-ers and friends. Welcome back. I apologize for being away so long however my schedule limits me to very little free time. I hope everyone is good and well. Things on this side of the laptop are good. I went home for Easter this past weekend. The drive was boring until I hit the 480 blizzard. I almost died about 5 times after that on my way home. Not exaggerating, the blizzard did not stop until (I believe) Sunday night. I'm convinced it was stationed right above our house.
It was a good break. Got to see all the girls, ate sum delicious cheesecake, took sum crazy pictures, cooked up a storm on Saturday, and spent sum good quality time with the fam. Not to mention the scrumptious ham and potatoes Sunday afternoon. It was good to see the family together again. I got to see my pregnant cousin who is due in June. Very exciting. Although, I'm a little upset because apparently she is naming her daughter Alexis...THAT'S MY NAME! Well, (was going to be) my future daughter's name. I'm pissed but I'll get over it if she's cute enough to deserve it. She will be. My sister and brother came for lunch. That was exciting. For all those who have been asking about them, Andy did find a job at a nursing home so congratulations to him.
I'm ready for this semester to die, as I'm sure all of you are as well. Me, The Queen Procrastinator, has 2 more short stories to write, 2 papers, 1 project, and a few more finals left. Have I started or prepared for any? NOPE! I'll get around to it.
My psychic senses are telling me that this summer is going to be pretty dang sweet. Aside from enjoying the warm weather, my activities will include working (which is blah but money equals happiness), running in the park, and sitting in front of the television watching Disney movies with an over-sized bowl of Lucky Charms in my lap. In addition to all that fun stuff, I'm going to Chicago (hopefully) sometime in June and my 21st birthday (YAY!) is in August...August 4th...AUGUST FORTH!...Mark that date. I will be up in Toledo until July so for all you Toledo-ians, let's hang out. For all you Cleveland-ers, come visit me!
Well, I think that's enough updating for now folks. Toodle-oo!
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| I don't know what else to say other than I make bad choices...there, I said it. There are so many times in our lives when we do something that is normally unlike us. After it's over we ask our selves, "Did I just do that?" So many times our selfish ways take over our thoughts and ideas. Too many times in my life have they won. And not because they are more powerful than me, but because I let them win. Our strength begins within ourselves. We are stronger than we act yet we make excuses for times when we fail or lie or hurt one another. There are no excuses for bad choices. We did what we did. Nothing can take back that action. Luckily, forgiveness exists. Forgiveness is our only hope to moving on. It's cliche but I'm going to say it anyways. Forgiveness starts with forgiving yourself. Definitely harder at times than forgiving someone else. If we can get past that part though, maybe we can understand ourselves better and look past the excuses we've made and try and find out the "why" that's at the root of it all. WHY...prolly the toughest question that exists in the world. Prolly the hardest one to answer too. Let me know when you have the answer.
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| I turned on the radio today, as I always do on my way to and from class, and on the local Christian station there was a pastor giving a message. I normally turn off any sort of "talk radio" but this one caught my attention. The part of the message that I caught was about PRAYER.
The pastor pointed out how most, believers and non-believers, pray only in times of need. He spoke about a time before he was saved when he would turn to God in a time of need and say, "God! I completely screwed up! I'm in so much trouble now! I promise, if you help me out of this I will do anything. I will read my Bible and give to the church...I'll become a nun!" Then he ended it by saying "Ok, thanks God! See you next disaster!" It made me laugh of course but then brought it back to my own life and how I tend to only turn to God when I need something. Sure, he loves when we seek Him out for help, but that's not the reason He is there. He's not a doctor who gets His joy solely from fixing people ailments.
So why do we turn to God only when we need him? Do we like being moochers? Is there something wrong with having a relationship with Him everyday? Apparently so. We find it hard to follow Him every day of our lives and you know what? He knows that! He doesn't expect life to be easy for us. If it was, why would we need Him at all?
Another thing about prayer that he mentioned was what many people think about it. (I'm using this as my own example, I think it illustrates it a little better). We treat prayer as if it's the IDEAL cellphone. The type of phone that never drops calls, that is never fuzzy, and that will never break. That is NOT how it is. Prayer is like the average cellphone. It's not perfect. It drops calls or is fuzzy every time there is bad reception. It's bruised if we drop it. The bad reception and damage equals our sin. This is what sin does to prayer: it causes a bad reception between us and God. It sometimes even drops our calls. Prayer is something that needs to be done when our hearts are solely on God. When there is nothing (sin) to get in our way of talking to him. If we are praying with sin in our lives, as the pastor put it, our prayers only go "as high as the ceiling."
This really brings it back to what I've been struggling with lately: Making God the center of my life and following him EVERY DAY. Like I said previously, it's not easy. But the tough part is, God expects us try as hard as we can. I've bean learning what works and what doesn't work through my walk with God. This is what I've found.
What DOESN'T work
-Giving into sin/sinful desires whether it be drinking, drugs, sex, swearing, pride, anger...
-Spending too much time with those who hurt your relationship with God
-Ignoring what God is trying to tell or reveal to you by running away or turning your back on Him
-Not spending time with Him
-Asking all the time and turning to Him ONLY when you are in need
-Not giving to him by reading His word or helping someone in need.
What DOES work
-Being in constant prayer and fellowship with God
-Fellowshipping with others who are followers of Christ
-Spending time in His word
-Listening to God and then taking what He has to teach you and applying it to your life
-Helping friends and even those who you barely know...even if it means sacrificing something of your own like your time or money.
-Singing (Mama always said, "singing is good for the soul." I believe her now)
-Avoiding putting yourself in situations where you have fallen into sin before. You may think you are stronger then you are...and the Devil knows this.
-Don't make excuses for your actions
(I bet I will be adding more to these lists in the future...there is a lot to learn yet)
So what do you do with all of this? I just told you it's hard so why even try? What's in it for us? I'm fine where I'm at now living with me and only me in control.
Why do it??? CAUSE THE REWARDS ARE MANY!!!
As strange as it may sound to some, God is like the parent and we are like the disobedient child. We are selfish and we want everything and we want it now. Does a parent not reward a child for good behavior? God will reward us for being faithful to Him. At my sister's wedding this past September, the best man stated this: "Because of your faithfulness, God has rewarded you with this blessed marriage." My sister and her husband have proven their devotion to God first and for most and He rewards them by giving them each other.
Now let me also say this: Does a parent not punish a child for bad behavior? Now I'm not going to tell you that every time you swear or drink of have sex (before marriage) that God is going to lay his gigantic and all-powerful hand across your hiney. God has a different way of punishing us and that is through the lack of his presence. If you turn your back on Him then turn to him the next time you're broke or sick or sad, He will just shake his head and wait for your return.
I guess what I really want to say is that if you have turned your back on him or if you are caught in sin, He is still waiting for you. He will wait for you until the day you die. So if it is a chance you are willing to take, letting another day go by hoping that you will still be alive so you can have that one extra day to live your life your way...go ahead. No day is guaranteed my friend. Time is ticking. Why wait?
ADDITIONAL ENCOURAGEMENT...
It's the story of life. Learning. Experiencing. Hurting. You can't get
away from it.
But don't worry, there's always a reward at the end of
the race whether it be recognition,
pride in knowing you did your best,
or someone there waiting for you to cross that line.
Either way, it's
worth finishing to see what you've won.
Don't worry though. Because
although this may be the toughest race of your life,
it is one that you
are not running alone.
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| I was driving back to my apartment today, just thinking...you know. I heard this song on the radio. I guess I just couldn't say it better myself.
Patience- Guns 'n Roses
Shed a tear 'cause I'm missing you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now
Said woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow
And we'll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
(inhale) Patience...
Ooh, oh, yeah
Sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now, I'll wait dear
Sometimes, I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love, there's one more thing to consider
Said woman take it slow
Things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said sugar take the time
'Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it
We won't fake it, Oh never break it
'Cause I can't take it | | |
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